It's time.

one of my favorite moments. ever.

I've had the following post written since I was on the plane coming home from my grand adventure in California. So according to no degree of calculation that's like two months? 

Initially, I meant to post it a week after I got home. Then it was when I started my new job. Then it was for New Years.

So why now? Well, honestly? No real great reason, but there are a few good ones. I was talking to a friend this weekend at a bar about what I'd been up to. I hadn't seen this person since Labor Day in Maine (remember how much fun I had? hereherehere). I mentioned that I just felt like I'd been making some really good decisions recently. Yes of course, there were good days and there were not so good days. That's life. But, in general. In the course of five months or so, I have taken charge of my life. Cliche right? Whatever. This is my blog not yours. 

What are the good decisions you ask?
Signing the lease to my beloved North End apartment. I'll never forget the first time I saw it. It was terrible. But.... it had something that got me excited. I remember wearing my favorite lobster tshirt as my sister (and soon to be very close neighbor) dissected every bit of it over our first North End meal. Pizza of course. 

Moving to the North End has opened my eyes to so many different things I didn't know I could do. Example you ask? I run a lot more than I ever have before. And. Its. Winter. I love running by the Bunker Hill Monument, by the Conference Center in Southie, and stopping to see my friends the seals at the Aquarium. I also love going to every place someone recommends to me in the North End. You recommend it, and I'll go there. I believe I even said I'd go to a cigar bar this past weekend. So.... that's coming I guess.

Quitting my "corporate" job. Yes, I still work for a big-ish company but I quit the one that made me so unhappy it hurt. Literally. I now work for a company that gives me opportunity to stretch my wings and think. Plus, I can wear jeggings to work. I'm not joking. 

There were many upsides to that job besides Hilton points. I feel like I learned a lot of life lessons beyond navigating airports and how to berate people into giving me hotel upgrades. I'll forever be thankful that I made that initial decision to work for Big Blue because it was a great opportunity. But, I am more thankful for the opportunity to cook in my kitchen whenever I want (see the 52 in 52 challenge I'm up to) and snuggle in my heavenly bed with my coveted West Elm striped sheets and Hilton "Touch of Down" pillows. 

Taking my great solo adventure. This trip has had such a lasting effect on me. I'll never forget waking up early to see sunrise at Glacier Point, jumping endlessly on the beach, housing cheez-its like they are going out of style, or sleeping in my clothes one night because the hotel room was just that "special". Yeah, I left that detail out initially. Didn't need to worry/scare my parents.
everything is a little out of focus and off center. but I don't care. it was the first time I put my feet in the Pacific Ocean.

So, here is the post that I wrote on the plane trip home to Boston....

I’ve been thinking about this post for several days now. How would I sum up this grand California adventure of mine? What experiences will I have come away with? Any important life lessons?

The answer to those questions? … I’m still not sure quite honestly. Like any good experience the impact and memories will last hopefully for forever :)

One thing I do know for sure? I’m done “waiting” for things to happen. I really love moderately adventurous vacations and excursions, seeing new things, wearing my hiking boots, and drinking coffee in cool places. I think in the past few years I’ve subconsciously been hindered by not wanting to do things by myself. Not having someone to do these things with. Many of my friends are in significant relationships, tethered by work, or other such commitments. I thought about going many places but always wondered who would go with me. Now, I don’t need to wonder. I’ll just go by myself and make my own way… safely of course. There are obviously places I won’t go by myself and it would be great to have a buddy to travel with…. But life isn’t perfect and I’m not waiting for it to be anymore. I feel more empowered than I ever have before.

My personality for the last 28 years and probably for the next 70 years (yes, that means I’m planning on living to be at least 98) is that of someone who loves lists, organization, planning and anticipating the expected outcome. I won’t ever change that in principle, but this trip was the antithesis of all those traits. I planned nothing. I had no expectations. I booked flights the day I took them. It was phenomenally liberating.

I would almost say I feel liberated from all the things that held me back in the last few years. A little heavy no? But this little respite from that half life I was living was just what I needed. I wasn’t living up to my potential. I’m not completely sure what my potential is, but it was not what I was doing. I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to climb to some new heights, drive the coast high above the crashing waves, put my feet in the sand, and break some bread with great friends.

So. 

Lastly. I guess I want to thank the two people that tell me they like to read what I write regularly. Kristin and Carrie. To be clear, I write for me and me alone. There is no secret hope that I get a movie deal off my broccoli and cheddar soup recipe or how I fixed my shower head. I secretly like to think that I'm slowly leaving a repository for my grandchildren to read one day. But, it is nice to know that someone reads what I write occasionally ... and I love waking up to text messages from Kristin about how she also talks to dogs like they are people

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