poison ivy & dilly beans

Again this summer has been light on the writing. It's not that I haven't had things to write about, I just have been trying to not sit in front of the computer. Also ... life has been full. 

But what I want to document that I'm 31 and have poison ivy. And, that I've had it for 3 weeks.

Week 1 was easy ... in part because I thought it was spider bites. I had just been on a easy hike and chalked it up to that. Spiders. I hate them but it made sense. At the end of week 1, I was like "wait, this shit itches". Week 2 was annoying but honestly, I didn't really think much about it. Week 3? A seriously different story.

I can't even describe how insane this makes you. Last night, I accidentally scratched one leg after brushing my teeth and then it was like the entire Jenga tower fell over. I could think of nothing else but how insanely itchy my dumb legs were. I tried to watch tv? Nothing. I put on leggings? Better but still bad. I smothered myself in hydrocortisone lotion. No relief.

As a general practice I try to stay away from WebMD. It just isn't a good idea. I'm pretty sure the answer to just about everything on that site is amputation and tumors. At one point, I tore through my bathroom cabinet looking for anything that resembled an antihistamine. I found some 2 year old Dramamine and almost took it but thought better of it. The internet did finally bring some sense of relief in the form of ice... except I had none. So, I ended up falling asleep with my legs on a pile of frozen bagels and covered in frozen blueberries watching Friends on my couch.

Today I finally used my health insurance for the first time and saw a doctor. The fact that she didn't think I was crazy made me feel better everywhere except physically. I may or may not have applied the new creme she gave me immediately... on an escalator... in a mall. Whatever.

Tonight, I also attempted to make a batch of dilly beans from my dad's garden. They are easy enough that you can make them on the commercial breaks in between your trashy summer tv. I certainly did.

(Step 1) Wash and trim the edges of your beans. Add them to boiling water.
(Step 2) Cook them for 3 minutes (set a timer) in boiling water... and then remove from the water. 
(Step 3) Bring to a boil the water, cider vinegar, garlic, dill, crushed red pepper and salt.
(Step 4) Pour over the beans and chill for 4 hrs. They will keep for 2 weeks in the fridge.

For the record, I am attempting my easy peasy canning method of just flipping the jar upside down while hot to seal it. It's worked every other time... and if it doesn't, there is no way these suckers are going to last two weeks in my fridge. I'm already excited to dig into them.

P.s. Beans make this kind of phenomenal popping and sizzling sound as they cook in the hot water. I even took a video I thought it was so exciting. 

Shopping List
2 cups water
2 cups cider vinegar
1 tbsp kosher salt
3 cloves of garlic sliced
1 tbsp dried dill
2 tsp red pepper flakes

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