Gym Thoughts

Its dangerous for me to be alone with my thoughts. I start to think about life, things I need to do, things I want to do.... things I don't want to do :). I'm most frequently alone with my "thoughts" at the gym but when I'm there I'm usually doing one of two things: planning my next meal or people watching. I can say without a doubt that there is not a single intellectual thought going through my head.

Want some evidence? During a recent trip to the gym I actually wrote down what I was thinking in an empty email on my phone. Here is that list along with a few comments I've tweeted while running as well.
  • Why are combat reporters so much more attractive? For real. A little part of me wants to do a little Google Image search to compare one person in both situations.... but that same part of me is happy just being more attracted to field reporters.
  • If you aren't wearing a wedding ring, pls wear a t-shirt with your age. I don't want to waste my time watching you lift weights. I'm really bad at guessing age. I'm also not really interested in watching men lift weights but perhaps you get my point regardless. I'm 27, almost 28, and for the life of me can't tell if someone is older than me - and if so by how much - or in high school.

  • Who actually watch bowling? I need to know this. I feel like I need to look up some statistics on ESPN / Bowling coverage. People set aside time to watch other sports, people loose track of time and get caught in an endless loop of Sportscenter coverage.... but who accidentally watches hours upon hours on bowling?
  • If I have a wedgie, what us the most appropriate way to pick it while I'm running? Yes, this is me being very honest. Thankfully nobody reads this blog :)
  • Women who do zumba freak me out. Like why do you need steamers on your pants? Why does your shirt have to say zumba on it? My shirt doesn't say running? I just don't get zumba. Period. But then again, I don't like gym classes. But putting that all aside, I don't understand the special outfits for the class. Streamers on your pants? Really?
  • Doesn't count as walking at an incline if you cling to the treadmill with a death grip. I'm always entertained by women (and some men) who set the treadmill at this crazy incline .... and then hold onto for dear life while walking. Hey guys, you are cheating during your workout. Set the incline lower and actually do some more work. I'm not impressed by your incline, just as you shouldn't be impressed by my mismatched gym outfit.
  • I find fit grandmas to be intimidating at the gym. I applaud people that work hard to stay healthy - especially older people. But there are some fit grandmas at my suburban gym and I find them oddly intimidating.
  • Eye contact while exercising your hip muscles creeps me out. Especially the hip abtuctor machine. This just feels inappropriate. I like this machine as much as the next person, but really? Stare at the wall, check out your iPod/Phone/water bottle, anything. I don't look at you, so please don't look at me. BUT, please keep your eyes open... I also find closed eyes creepy. {I'm picky. Sue me}
  • Dear superfit suburban mom, is it necessary that you sprint in a sports bra and short shorts on the treadmill? Wear what you want at the gym. I really don't care. At my home gym in suburbia, there are tons of "Lululemon Mons" and frankly thanks to their constant new outfits, I never have to wonder what Lululemon's latest line looks like. BUT, this is also a "family" gym and this isn't LA or NYC or even Boston, so put on a shirt or even a crop top for all I care.
If you are looking for more rants /raves about gym behavior, just search "gym thoughts" on twitter.

Also, when I was looking for picture for this post... I found this on Pinterest. Hope I never have to buy it to motivate myself. Nothing like welcoming someone to your house, inviting them to sit on your couch, and then "telling them to go to the gym".

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